Torn

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Torn

Post by Rheddie » Tue 13 Jun 2017, 19:57

Torn: the basics

Torn (the setting of my WIP novel The Qorbenic Programme) is basically Great Britain in an alternate reality, created by something called the "Qorbenic Programme" which totally rearranged history, geography and physics. (The truth of the Qorbenic Programme is known to very few people.)

Here's a map.

Most of the population of Torn live in quite a small number of cities (the black circles) connected by semi- transdimensional transport routes (called "transroads" or colloquially "ribbons") (the black lines). Castle Qorbenic is in pink and the lines of power emanating from it in red. The capital of Torn is Pibpejyxzyk (the big black circle on the map). This is the seat of the Brenhyn, the absolute ruler of the country. The Brenhyn reigned once before in Torn, long ago, before he lost in battle, but has now returned as promised to rule over his people again.

Torn society is in some ways similar to that of the modern UK in our world and in someways very different. In general it is much more authoritarian. The punishment for crimes (including e.g. the telepathic broadcast of forbidden thoughts) is often severe. Sex is banned and women are treated as second-class citizens. People speak a horribly distorted version of what was once English, with bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly.

Technologically in many ways the world is ahead of our own, e.g. the transroads mentioned above, "hovers" (small transports allowing people to get between any two points in a given city in a matter of seconds), time travel (tightly controlled by the government). But in other ways technology is equal to our own (mobile phones are common) or even behind it (e.g. guns do not exist). Technology is often blended with magic which can also be used independently by those in the know.

More to come!!
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Re: Torn

Post by Axiem » Tue 13 Jun 2017, 21:53

Rheddie wrote: Sex is banned
How is the next generation generated?
women are treated as second-class citizens. People speak a horribly distorted version of what was once English, with bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly.
Sounds a bit like modern Britain, especially 1950's-era or so ;)
"hovers" (small transports allowing people to get between any two points in a given city in a matter of seconds)
How big are the cities? If we assume that a city's something like 30 miles across, and it can be crossed in 10 seconds, that requires a speed of something like 10,000 miles per hour (for comparison, a gun fires a bullet at something like 1,000 miles an hour). What generates that velocity? What keeps the occupants of the hover safe? What keeps people/buildings/things outside of the hover safe?
guns do not exist
How's that work? Is gunpowder (and other explosives) banned? Do fireworks exist? If cars like the hovers exist, what prevents people from taking advantage of their immense speed as a weapon (or using the principles behind it to create a weapon that fires superfast bullets)
magic
Ooh, what's the magic system like?
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Re: Torn

Post by Frislander » Tue 13 Jun 2017, 21:55

Axiem wrote:
women are treated as second-class citizens. People speak a horribly distorted version of what was once English, with bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly.
Sounds a bit like modern Britain, especially 1950's-era or so ;)
Hey! [xP]
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Re: Torn

Post by Axiem » Tue 13 Jun 2017, 22:15

Frislander wrote:
Axiem wrote:
women are treated as second-class citizens. People speak a horribly distorted version of what was once English, with bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly.
Sounds a bit like modern Britain, especially 1950's-era or so ;)
Hey! [xP]
I am kind of serious. Contemporary English is a horribly distorted version of what was once English (we've lost the dual, for instance, not to mention a singular/plural differentiation in our second-person pronoun) with a bunch of bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly ("With my ego, I cannot kowtow to the moccasin-wearing princess" has ego (Latin), kowtow (Chinese), moccasin (Algonquian), and princess (French), for instance, focusing on nouns). That's kind of the nature of languages over time: to distort while borrowing liberally from other languages.

And "second-class citizens" can span a broad range of meaning, though being unable to vote would certainly qualify—so okay, 1910's-era or so.
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Re: Torn

Post by Salmoneus » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 17:31

If you want other people to read your novel, I strongly suggest you don't make the first substantive word in the title a made-up collection of letters, particularly one that violates English spelling rules. Lots and lots of self-published fantasy writers do this, particularly having a country or world name in the title, to the extent that it's become a cliché... but you'll notice that virtually no real published authors do this, because it deters readers.
[There are a few exceptions, of course. The Brisengamen (sp?) novels, for instance. But generally more accessible titles are used, like "A Game of Thrones", "The Eye of the World", "Pawn of Prophecy", "The Fellowship of the Ring", "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", "Dragons of Autumn Twilight", "Assassin's Apprentice", "Magician", "The Crystal Shard" and so on. These are much more attractive to reader than "The Throne of Westeros", "The Shadow of Shay'ol Ghul", "Murgos in Sendaria", "The Moria Journey", "Ice Queen of Narnia", "The Xak Tsaroth Quest", "Jhampe!", "The Kelewanic War", or "Akar Kessel, Talon of Creshinibon" (or "Drizzt and Ingeloakastimizilian", or "Exile from Menzoberranzan", or "Cryshal-Tirith", etc etc... he likes his names!), etc.]

In a similar vain, probably about 30-40% of your audience will put the book down permanently when they reach the name "Pibpejyxzyk", particularly because it looks intentionally chosen to piss people off and/or signal that the whole book is a parody.
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Re: Torn

Post by sangi39 » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 19:48

I'm kind of with Sal on this one. Brenhyn is all right, since it's Middle Welsh, and ties in with the "what was once English" and "English borrows a lot" part of the alternative history, but Pibpejyxzyk doesn't really seem to fit... at all...

There's a general idea that naming conlangs, i.e. snippets of languages used predominantly for the names of places and people, should aim at consistency, and often times a "feel" and a "history". English as a natlang is particularly annoying as an example because it tends towards preserving foreign spellings in spite of borrowings conforming to English phonotactics, but most of the time(?) languages tend towards spelling borrowings the way the orthography would represent the way those borrowing would end up being pronounced.

Now, obviously there are some languages with drastically different phonotactics allowing for words like gvprckvnis (from Georgian) and xłp̓χʷłtłpłłskʷc̓ (from Nuxalk), but, and I stick with Sal on this, too many of those will have most English (or possibly European) readers putting the book down. From an outsider's perspective there's nothing "familiar" about the word to remember other than "random collection of letters" which the reader can attach a character or a place to, and doing this over and over again will distance the reader from the story. It's part of the reason that in a lot of stories written in English that include non-English characters will often have the more well known names from that character's particular culture. Lots of Ahmeds, Abduls and Farooqs, very few Barkatullah, Hikmats and Murtazas, for Arabic characters, for example, despite the fact that they are all Arabic names.

The background of a name is important, of course, and helps build up a feeling for the setting you're coming up with, but the mindset of the reader also needs to be considered. What will they find distancing and what will they find familiar? How to you balance "the world within" and "the world without" so that the reader doesn't get lost or bored?
You can tell the same lie a thousand times,
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That they all still believe in you.
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Re: Torn

Post by Axiem » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 20:01

I think you can get away with that sort of thing a little more later in the series (cf. "The Prisoner of Azkaban"), but you want to introduce your readers to more gentle things up-front. Hook them with reasonably familiar (or natural-sounding) names, and then over time introduce more exotic elements. Not necessarily common names: "Gandalf", "Tyrian", "Dumbledore", but names that people can pronounce and remember, and sound just familiar enough for that.

It's something I'm struggling with when working on my conworld because I also will be setting stories in there—do I make the conlangs more different-from-English, or do I hew closer to English for my readers' sakes?—and who you expect as an audience matters a great deal. You can expect a fantasy-literature-consuming crowd to be able to put up with interesting names a little more than the general populace, but that only goes so far.

But yes, Pibpejyxzyk is outright absurd. I don't even have the faintest clue how to start pronouncing that—and I imagine it's not something to derive a bit of humor about, like Mxyzptlk is in Superman.
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Re: Torn

Post by sangi39 » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 20:36

Axiem wrote:I think you can get away with that sort of thing a little more later in the series (cf. "The Prisoner of Azkaban"), but you want to introduce your readers to more gentle things up-front. Hook them with reasonably familiar (or natural-sounding) names, and then over time introduce more exotic elements. Not necessarily common names: "Gandalf", "Tyrian", "Dumbledore", but names that people can pronounce and remember, and sound just familiar enough for that.

It's something I'm struggling with when working on my conworld because I also will be setting stories in there—do I make the conlangs more different-from-English, or do I hew closer to English for my readers' sakes?—and who you expect as an audience matters a great deal. You can expect a fantasy-literature-consuming crowd to be able to put up with interesting names a little more than the general populace, but that only goes so far.

But yes, Pibpejyxzyk is outright absurd. I don't even have the faintest clue how to start pronouncing that—and I imagine it's not something to derive a bit of humor about, like Mxyzptlk is in Superman.
One good way I've found for testing how readily people can read and pronounce a name is DnD, WoW or other multiplayer games that allow you to be referred to by a chosen name and/or create locations.
You can tell the same lie a thousand times,
But it never gets any more true,
So close your eyes once more and once more believe
That they all still believe in you.
Just one time.
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Re: Torn

Post by Rheddie » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 21:03

Thanks for all the comments!
Axiem wrote:
Rheddie wrote: Sex is banned
How is the next generation generated?
women are treated as second-class citizens. People speak a horribly distorted version of what was once English, with bits of other languages mixed in haphazardly.
Sounds a bit like modern Britain, especially 1950's-era or so ;)
"hovers" (small transports allowing people to get between any two points in a given city in a matter of seconds)
How big are the cities? If we assume that a city's something like 30 miles across, and it can be crossed in 10 seconds, that requires a speed of something like 10,000 miles per hour (for comparison, a gun fires a bullet at something like 1,000 miles an hour). What generates that velocity? What keeps the occupants of the hover safe? What keeps people/buildings/things outside of the hover safe?
guns do not exist
How's that work? Is gunpowder (and other explosives) banned? Do fireworks exist? If cars like the hovers exist, what prevents people from taking advantage of their immense speed as a weapon (or using the principles behind it to create a weapon that fires superfast bullets)
magic
Ooh, what's the magic system like?
There's basically a lot of A Wizard Did It in this world so a lot of you're questions don't really have answers other than "magic makes things like that".

So babies are basically made by magic. More on this in later post currently in prep.

Most of the cities are smaller than you suggest, about 5-10 miles diameter on average. The hovers take about 10-15 seconds to cover a mile, so maybe "a matter of seconds" is too strong but most journeys within a city still take less than a minute. That's up to 360mph which is more manageable than 10000mph! But they are basically powered by magic and it's a combo of magic and holding on tight that stops you falling off. They are self-piloting and very good at not bumping into things as they keep to the roads where pedestrians aren't allowed and slow down when they move into parking bays to let their passengers disembark.

Explosives just sort of never got invented for some reason. This was part of the deliberate design of the people who made (or remade) the world in the first place. There are other much worse weapons but these haven't been used since the time of the Great War and the return of the Brenhyn. Could hovers be used as weapons? Maybe but how they work is a secret closely guarded by the government so they wouldn't be used by ordinary crinimals. Torn hasn't actually been at war for four hundred years and if it was the government could just go back to the old weapons which are much more destructive than mere projectiles. Also they can only hold enough magic to go as fast as they can because of their size so you couldn't make bullets by the same tech.

I'm still working on the details of "the magic system". I find it quite difficult to work out what is allowed and what isn't in terms of what I require for the story. Also I'm worried other people might find it quite boring to read about!
If you want other people to read your novel, I strongly suggest you don't make the first substantive word in the title a made-up collection of letters, particularly one that violates English spelling rules. Lots and lots of self-published fantasy writers do this, particularly having a country or world name in the title, to the extent that it's become a cliché... but you'll notice that virtually no real published authors do this, because it deters readers.
[There are a few exceptions, of course. The Brisengamen (sp?) novels, for instance. But generally more accessible titles are used, like "A Game of Thrones", "The Eye of the World", "Pawn of Prophecy", "The Fellowship of the Ring", "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", "Dragons of Autumn Twilight", "Assassin's Apprentice", "Magician", "The Crystal Shard" and so on. These are much more attractive to reader than "The Throne of Westeros", "The Shadow of Shay'ol Ghul", "Murgos in Sendaria", "The Moria Journey", "Ice Queen of Narnia", "The Xak Tsaroth Quest", "Jhampe!", "The Kelewanic War", or "Akar Kessel, Talon of Creshinibon" (or "Drizzt and Ingeloakastimizilian", or "Exile from Menzoberranzan", or "Cryshal-Tirith", etc etc... he likes his names!), etc.]
I understand what you mean - although Qorbenic isn't a made-up collection of letters - at least not by me. It's a slight respelling of a word that's been part of the English literary tradition since the middle ages. But maybe I should change it anyway.
In a similar vain, probably about 30-40% of your audience will put the book down permanently when they reach the name "Pibpejyxzyk", particularly because it looks intentionally chosen to piss people off and/or signal that the whole book is a parody.
I'm kind of with Sal on this one. Brenhyn is all right, since it's Middle Welsh, and ties in with the "what was once English" and "English borrows a lot" part of the alternative history, but Pibpejyxzyk doesn't really seem to fit... at all...

There's a general idea that naming conlangs, i.e. snippets of languages used predominantly for the names of places and people, should aim at consistency, and often times a "feel" and a "history". English as a natlang is particularly annoying as an example because it tends towards preserving foreign spellings in spite of borrowings conforming to English phonotactics, but most of the time(?) languages tend towards spelling borrowings the way the orthography would represent the way those borrowing would end up being pronounced.

Now, obviously there are some languages with drastically different phonotactics allowing for words like gvprckvnis (from Georgian) and xłp̓χʷłtłpłłskʷc̓ (from Nuxalk), but, and I stick with Sal on this, too many of those will have most English (or possibly European) readers putting the book down. From an outsider's perspective there's nothing "familiar" about the word to remember other than "random collection of letters" which the reader can attach a character or a place to, and doing this over and over again will distance the reader from the story. It's part of the reason that in a lot of stories written in English that include non-English characters will often have the more well known names from that character's particular culture. Lots of Ahmeds, Abduls and Farooqs, very few Barkatullah, Hikmats and Murtazas, for Arabic characters, for example, despite the fact that they are all Arabic names.
I'm not sure about Pibpejyxzyk myself. It actually is a word in the distorted English, as will hopefully become clear when I post more about it later on. (Or maybe that should go in the "Conlangs" section of the forum.) It doesn't actually appear in the book yet (which is about 20% complete) and actually I haven't really used words from the language at all. The first ten proper names in the novel so far are "Edenites", "Rose", "Adam", "Mark Kramer", "Ex-Lancelot", "Gail", "Neaxtblad", "English", "the Brenhyn", "the Lady". Not really an excess of unfamiliar words?

Thanks for your advice!
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Re: Torn

Post by Axiem » Wed 14 Jun 2017, 22:51

Rheddie wrote: Most of the cities are smaller than you suggest, about 5-10 miles diameter on average.
That feels very small to me. In my city (St. Louis, MO), I drive about 10 miles to get from my home to downtown; my house decidedly is not in the suburbs. From downtown to the suburbs is something like 15 miles, at least. It's arguably not all dense city all through that, but it's still what I'd consider part of my city. (St. Louis has special considerations around this, but that's neither here nor there)
Explosives just sort of never got invented for some reason. This was part of the deliberate design of the people who made (or remade) the world in the first place.
Why not? Did no one put baking soda in vinegar? Did no one put lithium in water? A lot of things explode, and the underlying chemical processes behind those explosions make a lot of stuff work. Do people know how to make fire using friction?

What about non-chemical-reaction weapons, such as water guns or potato guns or compressed air rifles? Darts and blow guns?

Did people have bows -> crossbows -> mechanical-aid bows? Catapults?
Torn hasn't actually been at war for four hundred years
How are they managing that trick?
Also I'm worried other people might find it quite boring to read about!
To be fair, you're on a board where people are encouraged to talk about the boring details of their worlds ;)
I understand what you mean - although Qorbenic isn't a made-up collection of letters - at least not by me. It's a slight respelling of a word that's been part of the English literary tradition since the middle ages. But maybe I should change it anyway.
To the grand majority of your potential readership, it's as good as made-up.
I'm not sure about Pibpejyxzyk myself. It actually is a word in the distorted English, as will hopefully become clear when I post more about it later on.
Unless those letters represent sounds in a very different way than I'd expect, it's also a collection of sounds that I would expect would get worn down to something much more manageable to pronounce.
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Re: Torn

Post by eldin raigmore » Tue 20 Jun 2017, 04:44

@Rheddie: I just wanted you, and the other responders on this thread, to know that, I am reading it.
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Re: Torn

Post by Ahzoh » Tue 20 Jun 2017, 05:01

This has some useful info for me as well
Image Ӯсцӣ (Onschen) [ CWS ]
Image ʾEšd Yatvṛḵažaẇ (Vrkhazhian) [ WIKI | CWS ]
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Re: Torn

Post by Rheddie » Wed 05 Jul 2017, 22:46

no war because what is it good for
youre an island, a wastleland
and who whould invade you
when
you have the strongest king
the world has ever known

you do not go abroad to fight because
you cannot survive long a way from
the lines
----- -----
of power
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Re: Torn

Post by Rheddie » Wed 05 Jul 2017, 22:53

hisory of torn

It has been accepted for a long time (though naturally nobody agrees how long) that the history of Torn cannot be described in terms of a single linear timeline. Various more complex theories have been proposed over the sunths, (e.g.) Warhammer’s Thirteen Strands Theory or even Pseudo-Culpeper’s Eighty-One Strands Theory (the “Baroque” theory).

Early Ages include the Time Before Men, divided into the Antediluvian and Noahic eras. A separate influential strand is the Long Slow Growth which joins up with the TBM strand sometime in the early period of the Romantic (or Aromatic) Era, during which Torn was ruled by the Romanians. This then intersects with the First Age of the Brenhyn, probably at the point of the Romantic Evaporation / Evaporation of the Romanians. The FAotB lasted 490 sunths.

There follows the period of Great Confusion in which there are very many strands. The confusion dies down however early into the emergence of the Victorian Age when this becomes the dominant strand, only ending with the Great War, the death of the Emperor Victorius and the return of the Brenhyn, heralding in the Second Reign of the Brenhyn which has so far lasted 400 sunths.

the story of noe

In the beginning of the Age Before Men, the world had many mountains amongst which nestled peaceful lakes of pure violet. There were many cities everywhere, in the valleys and on the mountaintops, high above the clouds. Their golden domes and marble towers sparkled in the light of the sun. The women of the world lived in peace (mostly), painting and singing and dancing and farming and hunting the dinosaurs.

All this changed when the great demonterror Atalanteon burst through the sky, setting off rainfall that would submerge the whole earth. But the women of the world thought nothing of this and merely retreated inside their mansions and palaces and continued drinking and partying and feasting on dinosaur meat. Only a scientist called Noah realised the danger the world was in. She did her best to warn everybody, even setting up a permanent satellite broadcast of the bad news, but nobody listened; they just laughed and turned off their TV sets. So whilst Noah and her three daughters Ham, Shem and Japheth sailed to safety on a great white ship shaped like a swan (or possibly like a saucer; the word used in the original records is ambiguous), the sea levels rose higher and higher and everyone else (including the dinosaurs) drowned a terrible death.

Atalanteon retreated back to the Void and the rain stopped and the waters receded. The mountains had been eroded to nothing and all that was left of the land of Torn where the ship landed was a flat, lifeless plain, sometimes terribly hot, other times unbearably cold. There was rarely rain or snow, the best you could hope for was the occasional hailstorm. Noah and her daughters build a great round walled city of grey stone, calling it S’tich’, and there her daughters had their own daughters, and they in turn their own daughters, till the city was full. Queen Noah and the three Princesses lived on without aging, stealing their lifeforce from the thousands of fay who they kept imprisoned in the dungeons of their palace.

Some girls and women left the Queendom, though this wasn’t advisable or even strictly allowed.

Some of them bred with the Nefalae (beautiful, powerful spirits) and so the Giants were born.
Noah’s continued with her experiments and eventually managed to produce the First Man, born of her own womb. But this turned out to be a mistake as the men quickly grew many in power and subdued the women. Queen Noah, their Mother, was allowed to continue to reign, though. Men made war against the giants and killed them, and set up their own cities far from the Queendom.
Eventually the Romanians came to Torn from across the sea. They made war against Noah and she lost and was destroyed. So were her two eldest daughters. Noah’s youngest daughter, Princess Japheth, a beautiful, red-haired woman did hold out for a time against the Romanians and fought many battles against them. But eventually she lost and was sent into exile, never to return. The timeline merged with the Strand of the Long Slow Growth. The first eras of Torn’s history were done, and the Romantic Period (or Aromatic Period) had begun.
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Re: Torn

Post by Rheddie » Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:24

What has happened to this?? I haven’t posted anything in ages …

Here is a bit on the CURRENCY OF TORN.

Money (New Qorbenish “giqyi”) is the main thing people use to buy things. There are two *main* types of money in common circulation: Old Age Money (OAM) and New(ish) Money.

OLD AGE MONEY

Old Age Money (OAM, pronounced /əʊm/) was the money used by everybody in History. It was produced by the Holy Mint Bank of Serdnolin, which sadly no longer exists after it was destroyed in an unfortunate cataclysmic nuclear explosion. Hence no more OAM is pronounced. The money made by the Holy Mint Bank was in the form of coins. On one side (the “observe”) was originally instilled the image of the Holy Mint Bank itself, viz. a leaf of spearmint surrounded by a halo. (Incidentaly before this date in Ancient History the currency used on Torn actually was leaves of spearmint, hence the name.) Though later coins by legal force bore the head of the Emperor Victorius, and then later when he made his Second Return that of the Brenhyn Himself. These are the more common coins surrounding in common use today. About the edge of the coin were inscriptions in Abbreviated Romanian. For example on many older coins FAT.& SF.MEN.B.√ TO.AVT.FIN which expanded means roughly “by the face of eternity Holy Mint Bank of Serdnolin all financial authority”, or later FAT.& SF.MEN.B.√ PINI IMP.VIC “by the face of eternity Holy Mint Bank of Serdnolin through the seal of the Emperor Victorius”, FAT.& SF.MEN.B.√ PINI BREN TO.LAUD “by the face of eternity Holy Mint Bank of Serdnolin through the seal of the Brenhyn, all praise [to him]”.

On the other side, commonly called the “reserve” but also popularly “tales” on account of the design on one of the most common coins (see below) was another image depending on the coin in question. Coins were most commonly given names deriving from the Romantic period. Since the coming of the Brenhyn the basic unit has been the HAMMER (so named because it bears the image of a wild bore), though previously in the Victorian Era its equivalent was the IMPERIUM, bearing no picture whatsoever. Both the hammer and the imperium are coins of gold.

Underneath the hammer are various small coins of which the most important (and least significant) is the FANNY worth variously between 1/584 and 1/20 of a hammer depending on the conjugation of the stars. The fanny is a small brownish coin which bears the picture of King Charles XVIII of Prantz looking away from the camera, for complex history reasons. One-seventh of a fanny is a riding. The riding was introduced during the Great Unflation shortly after the Great War during which the value of the hammer dropped to hardly anything. It is made of pink rubber and is slightly larger in diameter than the gold hammer; its design is of a smiling cat called Gerald.

Twelve fannies (or sometimes five) make up a SHELLING, or at least they used to. Made of silver with five sides (or sometimes twelve), this used to bear a picture of a shell (hence the name) but this was dropped during the Victorian Era due to its allegedly blasphemous connotations. It was briefly replaced by a steam engine (the symbol of Progress, at least until the Great Train Crash of 1849) and subsequently by the torso of a well-endowed woman with no clothes on and a suggestive smile. Naturally after the return of the Brenhyn such coins were heavily surpressed and have been in high demand ever since.

Worth a bit more than the shelling (econometicians continue to argue about how much exactly) is the CORONET, another silver coin, round this time, which has a picture of a seabird on it.

Two other coins are of noun viz the BISSAU worth one hammer and one shelling for no good reason, and the ANGEL. The angel is worth five hammers and was minted in fact by an angel who happened to be visiting the Holy Mint one day. It is made of transparent crystal set into a disc of platinum and if you stare deep into it you can sometimes discern the future. The BISSAU is made of black iron with a secret core of some mineral nobody understands. It has no fixed image but instead bears an ever changing series of images depicting current affairs, a precursor of the news in the days before the printing press and crystal orb. Hence the name “tales” alluded to above.

NEW(ISH) MONEY

New(ish) money came into being after the demise of the Holy Mint meant the production of money in the traditional style was no longer practicable. In the old days monetary policy was set by throwing dice, but all the dice had been lost in the nuclear catastrophe (it is rumoured they went on holiday on a warm north sea island). Newish money is produced by the Bank of Burnhamwood, deep in the frozen wastes of the North, it is maid of plastic or occasionally of the transmogrified remains of naughty little girls who didn’t do what they were told. The most useful instantiation of Newish Money is the SCOTCARD, which is about two and a half inches long and is accepted in all but the most conservative cities in the south of Torn. Its value is determined by an ever changing series of numbers on the back, which reflect the users social standing and positive attitude. Also produced are various KNOTES (to the value of 5 hammers, 10 hammers, 20 hammers and reputedly 50 hammers although nobody has ever seen one) which carry the Abbreviated Romanian leabel PR. PL. PL. CER. “I promise to bear the payer on demand” and must be carefully hoarded as they are the favourite food of knotemites and pigbirds.

This concludes the Lesson.

In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked upon as something shocking ...
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Axiem
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Re: Torn

Post by Axiem » Sat 18 Nov 2017, 01:04

Rheddie wrote:
Fri 17 Nov 2017, 23:24
observe
(I think you mean "obverse", or did that change in the language?)
“tales”
(Likewise, this is "tails", as contrast to "heads")
the FANNY
*snicker* Your readers are not going to be able to take that seriously at all, especially if they're British, by the way. I'd strongly recommend changing that name.
variously between 1/584 and 1/20 of a hammer depending on the conjugation of the stars
584 is a weird number to use in currency; where does it come from?

I also think you mean "constellation".
One-seventh of a fanny is a riding.
...I have to ask: are you writing a comedy? Because I can't stop giggling at this.
[The riding] is made of pink rubber and is slightly larger in diameter than the gold hammer
Maybe it's just that my mind is utterly in the gutter at this point, but this really makes me giggle.
econometicians continue to argue about how much exactly
It seems like you have several different parallel currencies even in the OAM. Is that intentional? Why do they do it like that?
In the old days monetary policy was set by throwing dice, but all the dice had been lost in the nuclear catastrophe (it is rumoured they went on holiday on a warm north sea island).
At this point, I'm pretty convinced you're attempting to write a comedy. Is that your intended tone?
Conworld: Mto
:con: : Kuvian
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