Jokes

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Solarius
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Jokes

Post by Solarius » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 21:51

What are Jokes like outside of Anglophone culture?
Check out Ussaria!
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Thakowsaizmu
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Re: Jokes

Post by Thakowsaizmu » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 21:58

Solarius wrote:What are Jokes like outside of Anglophone culture?
Not funny.
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Re: Jokes

Post by rickardspaghetti » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 22:35

Thakowsaizmu wrote:
Solarius wrote:What are Jokes like outside of Anglophone culture?
Not funny.
Stupid puns and such that only work in that language. A Swedish example: "Det var en gång, men sen blev den en väg."
"Det var en gång" is Swedish for "once upon a time", but it can also be read as "it was a pathway" as is the joke here, because the next line "men sen blev den en väg" means "but then it became a road". A really cheap and stupid pun. The thing you'd expect from little children. I heard it in kindergarten. [¬.¬]
そうだ。死んでいる人も勃起することが出来る。
俺はその証だ。
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Ceresz
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Re: Jokes

Post by Ceresz » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 23:02

rickardspaghetti wrote: Stupid puns and such that only work in that language. A Swedish example: "Det var en gång, men sen blev den en väg."
"Det var en gång" is Swedish for "once upon a time", but it can also be read as "it was a pathway" as is the joke here, because the next line "men sen blev den en väg" means "but then it became a road". A really cheap and stupid pun. The thing you'd expect from little children. I heard it in kindergarten. [¬.¬]
I really hate that one. I usually hear "Det var en gång och den blev sandad" or something like that, though.
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Micamo
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Re: Jokes

Post by Micamo » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 23:19

Actually, I have a Navajo jokebook around here somewhere. Just gotta find it...
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Ceresz
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Re: Jokes

Post by Ceresz » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 23:23

Micamo wrote:Actually, I have a Navajo jokebook around here somewhere. Just gotta find it...
Sounds interesting.
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rickardspaghetti
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Re: Jokes

Post by rickardspaghetti » Fri 20 Apr 2012, 23:31

Ceresz wrote:
rickardspaghetti wrote: Stupid puns and such that only work in that language. A Swedish example: "Det var en gång, men sen blev den en väg."
"Det var en gång" is Swedish for "once upon a time", but it can also be read as "it was a pathway" as is the joke here, because the next line "men sen blev den en väg" means "but then it became a road". A really cheap and stupid pun. The thing you'd expect from little children. I heard it in kindergarten. [¬.¬]
I really hate that one. I usually hear "Det var en gång och den blev sandad" or something like that, though.
I've heard that one too.
そうだ。死んでいる人も勃起することが出来る。
俺はその証だ。
Spoiler: show
Ǧ Š Ȟ Ž Č

ǧ š ŋ ȟ ž č
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eldin raigmore
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Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore » Sat 21 Apr 2012, 21:37

There was a Soviet joke I think many people would find funny.

A man and his young son were just finishing touring Moscow. They were on the bus and the kid kept asking questions: "How deep is ...", "how old is ...", "how wide is ...", about various sights and sites (Lenin's tomb, the Kremblin, etc.). Finally the kid asked, "How tall is the Soviet government?".
The father, exasperated, said, "That's a stupid question; there's no answer to that question!".
An old man sitting near them said "Sir, on the contrary, your son's question has a precise answer. The Soviet government is exactly 150 centimetres tall. I know, because I'm 160 cm tall, and I've had it up to here!" (putting his hand just under his nose).

So I think that lots of other cultures have jokes we anglophones would find funny. Perhaps a better question, then, is, whether the jokes in non-European-descended cultures would sound funny to us?

And I have a Chinese parable that might.
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Micamo
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Re: Jokes

Post by Micamo » Sun 22 Apr 2012, 04:16

Okay, so I've still yet to find my Navajo jokebook, but I'll share one that I sorta remember from it.

The English translation of the joke goes like this: A boy gets frustrated with his grandfather and says "Oh, I hope you go to hell!" (lit. "See the Devil"). The grandfather responds "That's right, you and your mother are going there next week!"

The joke works because "see the devil" is very similar to "visit the city" in Navajo. The grandfather is hard of hearing and mistakes the former for the latter. Actually, the book contains several other jokes that make fun of the elderly this way. Maybe it's a cultural thing?
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Re: Jokes

Post by DanH34 » Mon 23 Apr 2012, 19:08

"Det var en gång, men sen blev den en väg."
I love it!

Also:

From the fantastic QI with the even more fantastic Stephen Fry, a (slightly bad-taste) joke from Ancient Greece:

An absent-minded [professor] is voyaging aboard a galley when an almighty storm hits. The sails are ripped away, the deck is awash, and all aboard are panicking. Noticing that his slaves are terrified, the [professor] says to them: "There's no need to be afraid, I've freed you all in my will!"

As distasteful as humour based on slavery might be, I think this one's quite funny.

This link has some other jokes (of varying quality) from history.

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Stammalor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Stammalor » Wed 25 Apr 2012, 16:17

Here is a wikipedia-page full of russian jokes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_jokes



My favorite is this one,

Q: What's the difference between a capitalist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale?
A: The capitalist fairy tale starts out; "once upon a time there was....", The Marxist fairy tale starts out; "some day there will be...."
Sadanjatås = I wished we had survived, too bad we didn't


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Wo bu xihuan shou hanyu
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Omzinesý
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Re: Jokes

Post by Omzinesý » Sun 29 Apr 2012, 14:24

:fin: "Nyt Kustaan pojat nurkkaan!"
a command 'Gustav's boys/sons to the corner, now!'

"Nyt kustaan pojat nurkkaan!"
'Let's pee in the the corner now, boys!"
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Re: Jokes

Post by Aszev » Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:05

Swedes and Norwegians have a vast arsenal of stupid jokes about each other. They're generally identical, expect for the nationality of the stupid ones.

E.g.

- Why do the Norwegians go to the bathroom with the door open?
- So no one will peek through the key hole.

- Why do the Norwegians crawl on the floors in the supermarket?
- They're looking for low prices.

- Why do the Norwegians only drink beer from brown bottles?
- They don't think the green ones are ripe yet.

etc.
Sound change works in mysterious ways.

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Re: Jokes

Post by Aszev » Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:07

We also have the Bellman jokes, which are mostly for kids, but every Swede knows about them.
Sound change works in mysterious ways.

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Re: Jokes

Post by rickardspaghetti » Mon 30 Apr 2012, 13:08

Aszev wrote:Swedes and Norwegians have a vast arsenal of stupid jokes about each other. They're generally identical, expect for the nationality of the stupid ones.

E.g.

- Why do the Norwegians go to the bathroom with the door open?
- So no one will peek through the key hole.

- Why do the Norwegians crawl on the floors in the supermarket?
- They're looking for low prices.

- Why do the Norwegians only drink beer from brown bottles?
- They don't think the green ones are ripe yet.

etc.
Why do Norwegians bring sandpaper in the desert?
They need a map. [:P]
そうだ。死んでいる人も勃起することが出来る。
俺はその証だ。
Spoiler: show
Ǧ Š Ȟ Ž Č

ǧ š ŋ ȟ ž č
:swe: [:D] :vgtl: [:D] :eng: [:)] :ita: [:|] :lkt: [:'(]
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dh3537
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Re: Jokes

Post by dh3537 » Sat 12 May 2012, 16:33

A very punny Mandarin Chinese joke:

Traditional Characters

某高中學校學生名叫戴隋同。
某日,訓導處某位老師向全校廣播:
「高二同學,戴隋同到訓導處來。」
結果十分鐘後,訓導處前擠滿了帶著大小水桶的同學,還有人在問:「要不要裝水啊?」
Simplified Characters

某高中学校学生名叫戴隋同。
某日,训导处某位老师向全校广播:
「高二同学,戴隋同到训导处来。」
结果十分钟后,训导处前挤满了带着大小水桶的同学,还有人在问:「要不要装水啊?」
Pinyin

Mǒu gāozhōng xuéxiào xuésheng míngjiào Dài Suí Tóng.
Mǒu rì, xùn dǎo chù mǒu wèi lǎoshī xiàng quán xiào guǎngbō:
“Gāo èr tóngxué, Dài Suí Tóng dào xùn dǎo chù lái.”
Jiéguǒ shífēn zhōng hòu, xùn dǎo chù qián jǐ mǎn le dài zháo dàxiǎo shuǐtǒng de tóngxué, háiyǒu rén zài wèn, “Yàobu yào zhuāng shuǐ a?”
Literal Translation

There was once a high school student named Dài Suí Tóng.
One day, a teacher in charge of discipline used the intercom to broadcast this message:
"Secondary High students, Dài Suí Tóng to the office of discipline."
Ten minutes later, many students appeared outside the office of discipline with water buckets. One of them asked, “Do we have to put water in the buckets?
Explanation

Explanation

The name of the student 戴隋同 (Dài Suí Tóng) sounds like 帶水桶 (dài shuǐtǒng), which means “bring a water bucket”.

http://mandarin.about.com/od/chinesecul ... i_tong.htm
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Re: Jokes

Post by Demino » Sun 16 Dec 2012, 19:05

It's great to be a Souf Efrikan...

This is a great country because .......
1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.

7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cellphone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph on the highway.

8. Great accent. (!!!)

9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

12. The police are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.

13. Votes have to be recounted until the ”right” party wins.

14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

16. When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

Ja nee!! Dis baie lekker hier!!

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Creyeditor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor » Sun 16 Dec 2012, 20:02

Demino wrote:14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.
I really like this one :D
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shrdlu » Sun 16 Dec 2012, 20:29

Actually, truth be told, that list is no joke. At best one or two points are joke-ish but most it are true.


which is sad.
I remember reading somewhere that Johannesburg is almost the only place in the world where you can be robbed because "someone felt for it".


edit; yeah, a no joke in a joke thread.
I kill threads!
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Re: Jokes

Post by Ànradh » Mon 17 Dec 2012, 02:30

"12. The police are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called."
Heh...
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