Jokes

Discussions regarding actual culture and history of Earth.
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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » Thu 04 Feb 2016, 04:21

Want to troll someone supporting a candidate you dislike (only works IRL, though)? Tell them the candidate has Aides! Then say all candidates have Aides......and watch them get confused. [}:D]
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien
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eldin raigmore
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Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore » Sat 06 Feb 2016, 05:18

Dormouse559 wrote:- Why do French chefs only use one egg when they cook?
- Because one egg is un œuf !

Spoiler:
Get it? It's funny, right? Because un œuf is French for "one egg", but it also sounds a little like "enough". [:D]


Reminds me of the chef de cuisine who pined away and died because he'd lost his huile d'olive.
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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 03:05

loglorn wrote:Oldie but goodie
*bows* Thank you! Thank you!
eldin raigmore wrote:Reminds me of the chef de cuisine who pined away and died because he'd lost his huile d'olive.
Another oldie but goodie. [:)]

Today, I learned that yolo is in fact a Latin verb. For example: yolandus "which is to be lived only once".
Spoiler:
Image
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loglorn
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Re: Jokes

Post by loglorn » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 03:12

Iolō
Diachronic Conlanging is the path to happiness, given time. [;)]

Gigxkpoyan Languages: CHÍFJAEŚÍ RETLA TLAPTHUV DÄLDLEN CJUŚËKNJU ṢATT

Other langs: Søsøzatli Kamëzet
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GrandPiano
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Re: Jokes

Post by GrandPiano » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 03:59

loglorn wrote:Iolō
I only live ōnce?
:eng: - Native
:chn: - B2
:esp: - A2
:jpn: - A2
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Lao Kou
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lao Kou » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 04:35

Image

我買車了,辛苦了這麼多年,犒勞一下自己。 這是頂配:真皮座椅,全景天窗,動力十足,本來想買紅色,朋友說太娘娘,整體很滿意,特別是前面的菜籃子,非常實用!

我买车了,辛苦了这么多年,犒劳一下自己。这是顶配:真皮座椅,全景天窗,动力十足,本来想买红色,朋友说太娘娘,整体很满意,特别是前面的菜篮子,非常实用!
Spoiler:
I bought myself a set of wheels. I've worked really hard these past few years, so I decided to treat myself. This is top of the line: genuine leather seating, panoramic sunroof, great maneuverability. I originally wanted to buy it in red, but a friend said that was too feminine. Overall I'm very satisfied with it, especially the basket up front, which comes in really handy!

Took some liberties in translation to make it work. Apologies for the large photo -- as it was, I was only able to figure out how to get from there to here in three very inelegant steps. [o.O]
Edit: Whittled down to one.
Last edited by Lao Kou on Sun 21 Feb 2016, 17:13, edited 2 times in total.
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Thrice Xandvii
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Re: Jokes

Post by Thrice Xandvii » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 09:40

It appears your image links to an email? As such, it is broken for me.
Image
cntrational
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Re: Jokes

Post by cntrational » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 10:30

#YOLOTH
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qzorum
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Re: Jokes

Post by qzorum » Sat 20 Feb 2016, 14:50

Here's a fun one in Turkish:

Dört beşten neden korkuyor? Çünkü beş altı yedi!

Why is four afraid of five? Because five six seven!

The pun is that yedi means both seven and ate (Turkish being a verb final language), making it a near perfect literal translation of the corny English pun.
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500 Word Answers, a blog about conlangy things and a couple other things too
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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » Sun 21 Feb 2016, 02:58

You might say he's sheepwalking.
Spoiler:
Image
Last edited by Dormouse559 on Wed 24 Feb 2016, 21:19, edited 1 time in total.
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Lao Kou
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lao Kou » Sun 21 Feb 2016, 17:07

Thrice Xandvii wrote:It appears your image links to an email? As such, it is broken for me.
Think/hope I solved that problem.
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Lambuzhao
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lambuzhao » Sun 21 Feb 2016, 18:04

HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Shemtov wrote:Somebody needs to translate Elvis' songs into Tolkien's conlangs:
Elvish Elvis!
I'm surprised this hasn't been done...
I'm really surprised nobody tried this in Quenya/Sindarin. [O.O] :?:

After all, Dr. Jukka Ammondt of :fin: has translated Elvis songs into :lat:, and "Blue Suede Shoes" into Sumerian (!).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jukka_Ammondt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46yY3LSgiLI

IMHO "Can't help falling in love with you" would translate rather well.
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Lambuzhao
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lambuzhao » Sun 21 Feb 2016, 18:05

qzorum wrote:Here's a fun one in Turkish:

Dört beşten neden korkuyor? Çünkü beş altı yedi!

Why is four afraid of five? Because five six seven!

The pun is that yedi means both seven and ate (Turkish being a verb final language), making it a near perfect literal translation of the corny English pun.
English, of course, has -

Why is six afraid of seven? Because he eight nine.

One of my son's all time favorites!
[xP]
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Lambuzhao
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lambuzhao » Sun 21 Feb 2016, 18:26

Lambuzhao wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Shemtov wrote:Somebody needs to translate Elvis' songs into Tolkien's conlangs:
Elvish Elvis!
I'm surprised this hasn't been done...
I'm really surprised nobody tried this in Quenya/Sindarin. [O.O] :?:

After all, Dr. Jukka Ammondt of :fin: has translated Elvis songs into :lat:, and "Blue Suede Shoes" into Sumerian (!).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jukka_Ammondt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46yY3LSgiLI

IMHO "Can't help falling in love with you" would translate rather well.
The title might go something like this (in Quenya)

Únat i tyë uan melyë
impossible.thing REL 2SG.OBJ NEG=1SG love


mebbe?
My Elvish is thoroughly tarnished, oxidized and otherwise rusty.
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Lambuzhao
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lambuzhao » Fri 25 Mar 2016, 15:39

The epicenter where sublimest Zen and Corporal Punishment shake a hand high-five.

Terrible. Ridiculous. Funny.


https://cliviavogel.files.wordpress.com ... apping.jpg
http://thecripplegate.com/wp-content/up ... apping.jpg

Makes sense.

[xP]
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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » Fri 08 Apr 2016, 01:45

Image
Last edited by Shemtov on Fri 08 Apr 2016, 02:02, edited 1 time in total.
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien
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GrandPiano
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Re: Jokes

Post by GrandPiano » Fri 08 Apr 2016, 01:51

"Je m'appelle je m'appelle"?
:eng: - Native
:chn: - B2
:esp: - A2
:jpn: - A2
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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » Fri 08 Apr 2016, 01:57

GrandPiano wrote:
"Je m'appelle je m'appelle"?
Yup.
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien
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Lambuzhao
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lambuzhao » Fri 08 Apr 2016, 02:42

And, of course, this person has to be related to Gemma.

https://elsapell.wordpress.com/2013/06/ ... te-review/
http://www.hellocoton.fr/mapage/elsa-pell


Quite clever, using that moniker and blogging in both English and French.

Still looking for her lost-at-birth twin.... Ilsa Pell. [B)]
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Sglod
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Re: Jokes

Post by Sglod » Fri 08 Apr 2016, 20:30

Not to mention their cousin, May Yamo...

I'll see myself out...
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