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Re: Jokes

Posted: 28 Jul 2017 20:48
by Dormouse559
What kind of perfume did they wear on the Hindenburg?

Eau de humanity!

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Aug 2017 01:48
by Shemtov
Image

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Aug 2017 12:05
by Egerius
Probably a bad pun.

Alright, I know that there are Polynesian languages... What about Mononesian languages?

ba-dum-tsss...

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Aug 2017 13:04
by Adarain
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Aug 2017 20:29
by qwed117
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Aug 2017 20:54
by All4Ɇn
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Wow Tom looked really different back then

Re: Jokes

Posted: 09 Aug 2017 00:09
by Adarain
qwed117 wrote:
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?
Yes it does but then the :yout: isn’t a link anymore; either way the interesting bit was that the preview showed it as working.

Re: Jokes

Posted: 09 Aug 2017 02:58
by qwed117
Adarain wrote:
qwed117 wrote:
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?
Yes it does but then the :yout: isn’t a link anymore; either way the interesting bit was that the preview showed it as working.
Let's see if this works?
[I used a narrow non-breaking space. followed by a space]

Re: Jokes

Posted: 19 Aug 2017 08:21
by Khemehekis
Yo momma so dumb, I said, "These are knotty issues", and she thought I had subscribed to Playboy.

Re: Jokes

Posted: 06 Sep 2017 17:40
by Dormouse559
How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!

And here's my sorry attempt at a French pun:

Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !


Translation:

How do you convince someone that blood isn't red?

You make white blood!


"On fait sang blanc" (You make white blood) is pronounced the same as "On fait semblant" (You pretend).

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Sep 2017 03:47
by GrandPiano
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Sep 2017 06:42
by loglorn
GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Sep 2017 15:09
by Lao Kou
loglorn wrote:
GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.
That was my initial reaction, too. But then I thought the beef might be that in the English-speaking world, the growing trend is to use BCE (before the common era) and CE (common era) instead of the religiously charged BC/AD (and "BCE-ing you" doesn't work). Maybe :wat:. Whatever the accuracy concerns may be, I still found the joke moderately amusing. [:)]

Dormouse559 wrote:Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !
Not bad. [:)]

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Sep 2017 16:16
by Dormouse559
Hmm, well, I'd want more explanation on how BCE vs. BC is an accuracy issue, being they refer to the same dates. And some people do still use AD/BC; maybe our time machine inventor is a bit behind the times (pun intended).

If what troubles is the exact number of years needed to escape the anni Domini, you can substitute "more than 2,000 years" for "[current year number] + 1 years". It just seemed like more math than necessary.
Lao Kou wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !
Not bad. [:)]
Youpi ! [:D]

Re: Jokes

Posted: 08 Sep 2017 23:26
by GrandPiano
loglorn wrote:
GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.
Ah, don't know how I missed that. My bad.

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Nov 2017 02:47
by Shemtov
Bad joke time and based on a real story:
I am a smoker. I live right by the beach, and there was a lifeguard-less public beach, that was basically a tanning/fishing spot near me, and I would go there to smoke, as I enjoyed the combo of tobacco-smoke and sea air. I would go there at night, not knowing that it was illegal to be there after dusk, as there was no sign. Once, a group of policemen came on the beach at night, and one of them asked me what I was doing, as I hadn't lit up yet. "Smoking" I said. "Pot?" the police said (I question the officer's intelligence, because if someone was smoking an illegal substance, they would have to be high already to even say "Smoking" to a Policeman.) I replied "Tobacco", and after telling me that going to the beach at night was illegal, he let me off with a warning. But I guess he suspected me of smoking......
.....Sea-Weed.

Re: Jokes

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 18:48
by Dormouse559
large-ish image:
Spoiler:
Image
Transcript:

Bartender: Which beer would you like?
Man: IPA, please
Bartender: wɪtʃ bɪə wʊd juː lʌɪk?


I definitely transcribed that IPA in X-SAMPA and then converted it back to IPA. [xP]

Re: Jokes

Posted: 22 Nov 2017 01:46
by Shemtov
X-SAMPA is not a kind of beer I've ever heard of [;)] [xD]

Re: Jokes

Posted: 11 Dec 2017 07:43
by Dormouse559
I hear about people marrying their cars or themselves, but why does no one ever marry a melon?

Because you cantaloupe!

Re: Jokes

Posted: 07 Apr 2018 22:28
by Birdlang
What group did the mad scientist send to do experiments on the kittens?

The Advo-cats of Satan!