Jokes

Discussions regarding actual culture and history of Earth.
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Adarain
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Re: Jokes

Post by Adarain » 08 Nov 2015 16:59

Y'all is a normal 2P pronoun, all y'all is collective. Makes sense if you ask me. From what I hear though, some people use y'all politely and all y'all for plural.
At kveldi skal dag lęyfa,
Konu es bręnnd es,
Mæki es ręyndr es,
Męy es gefin es,
Ís es yfir kømr,
Ǫl es drukkit es.

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Egerius
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Re: Jokes

Post by Egerius » 08 Nov 2015 17:03

What do we call the German Bundestag in summer before the summer break?
Cirque bruleé.
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HoskhMatriarch
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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 08 Nov 2015 20:11

eldin raigmore wrote:As for me: I don't fear Heaven; I don't fear Hell; I fear only Yankees misusing "y'all" to a singular addressee.
Adarain wrote:Y'all is a normal 2P pronoun, all y'all is collective. Makes sense if you ask me. From what I hear though, some people use y'all politely and all y'all for plural.
Well, if people are re-developing a T-V distinction from y'all, I think that's cool. It would make it so much easier to insult people.


I just remembered a silly German joke:

Eine Kuh macht Muh.
Viele Kühe machen Mühe.

It's a pun, so it doesn't translate well at all, but it translates as "One cow says moo. Many cows make effort."

That also reminds me of the only joke German Siri knows:
Schaf zu Rasenmäher: Mäh!
Rasenmäher zu Schaf: Du hast mir gar nichts zu befehlen!

German Siri badly needs more jokes.
No darkness can harm you if you are guided by your own inner light

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » 08 Nov 2015 23:05

A funny thing and "y'all" in one post. Two birds with one stone.

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eldin raigmore
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Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore » 09 Nov 2015 17:20

Cars made in Detroit already have the automobile version of "flight data recorders" built in.
The Big Three automakers in Detroit decided to try putting a version of the "cockpit voice recorders" in their pickups and light trucks too.
Recently this data has been analyzed.
As you may know, in airplanes' cockpit voice recorders, the last words most frequently recorded before a crash are "Oh, shit."
In 49 of the 50 states of the USA, those are also the most frequently recorded words before a crash in the pickup trucks equipped with these new "black boxes".
But, in Texas, the most frequently recorded last words were "Hey, y'all, watch this!".
(Told by a transplanted :us-tx: an.)

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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 09 Nov 2015 21:23

Whenever I see heavy metal band names with umlauts, I say things like this:

Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)

If you make a heavy metal band, don't put umlauts in your name unless you want people like me to say your band name with front rounded vowels. Also, it just looks silly, no matter how much Fraktur you dress it up in.
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Ahzoh
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Re: Jokes

Post by Ahzoh » 09 Nov 2015 21:30

HoskhMatriarch wrote:Whenever I see heavy metal band names with umlauts, I say things like this:

Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)

If you make a heavy metal band, don't put umlauts in your name unless you want people like me to say your band name with front rounded vowels. Also, it just looks silly, no matter how much Fraktur you dress it up in.
Firstly, it is because it gives a Teutonic feel and clearly you aren't supposed to pronounce it like German, so of course you can have an umlaut and an ue.
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thaen
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Re: Jokes

Post by thaen » 09 Nov 2015 21:53

loglorn wrote:
Ahzoh wrote:
eldin raigmore wrote:As for me: I don't fear Heaven; I don't fear Hell; I fear only Yankees misusing "y'all" to a singular addressee.
Or people saying all y'all.
I consoder y'all to be just second person plural, so all y'all doesn't sound particularly wrong to me.
Can confirm/elaborate: you SG y'all DU all(uh) y'all PL
Sometimes there is some fudging between DU and PL forms, but only in the direction of the DU being used to refer to larger numbers of referents than two. The PL form is considered to be somewhat of a colloquialism in the more urban areas of the south, and the DU is used, or even the more protracted "all of you" or "you all." Now, the DU can be tacked on to a clause to refer to DU or PL as a vocative-esque particle.

Source: it comes from my 19 years of fieldwork in the southern United States, esp. Alabama and Texas, y'all.
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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 09 Nov 2015 23:45

Ahzoh wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:Whenever I see heavy metal band names with umlauts, I say things like this:

Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)

If you make a heavy metal band, don't put umlauts in your name unless you want people like me to say your band name with front rounded vowels. Also, it just looks silly, no matter how much Fraktur you dress it up in.
Firstly, it is because it gives a Teutonic feel and clearly you aren't supposed to pronounce it like German, so of course you can have an umlaut and an ue.
But it doesn't give it a "Teutonic feel" to me, it looks silly to me, which is why I like to mispronounce metal umlaut band names, because it sounds as silly as it looks. Finnish and Turkish and lots of other languages also have umlauts, so unless your name actually looks like a Germanic language with umlauts, it's not particularly Teutonic (although I guess "English with umlauts" counts as a Germanic language with umlauts. But you would not see words like Motörhead in German or Swedish or Icelandic or any other Germanic language that normally has umlauts I can think of. Although, I think we should use either a ä or æ in English if there's an orthographic reform, although I have a slight preference for the æ because that's more historical for English).
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Egerius
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Re: Jokes

Post by Egerius » 09 Nov 2015 23:59

HoskhMatriarch wrote:I have a slight preference for the æ because that's more historical for English.
[+1] West-Saxon FTW!
Then we can get thorn and eth back, right?
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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 10 Nov 2015 00:14

Egerius wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:I have a slight preference for the æ because that's more historical for English.
[+1] West-Saxon FTW!
Then we can get thorn and eth back, right?
I love thorn and eth. I vote we use them like Icelandic since there's a voicing contrast on dental fricatives now. I've heard someone say we should use theta in English orthography before. That person is a traitor.
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Creyeditor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor » 10 Nov 2015 00:38

HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Ahzoh wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:Whenever I see heavy metal band names with umlauts, I say things like this:

Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)

If you make a heavy metal band, don't put umlauts in your name unless you want people like me to say your band name with front rounded vowels. Also, it just looks silly, no matter how much Fraktur you dress it up in.
Firstly, it is because it gives a Teutonic feel and clearly you aren't supposed to pronounce it like German, so of course you can have an umlaut and an ue.
But it doesn't give it a "Teutonic feel" to me, it looks silly to me, which is why I like to mispronounce metal umlaut band names, because it sounds as silly as it looks. Finnish and Turkish and lots of other languages also have umlauts, so unless your name actually looks like a Germanic language with umlauts, it's not particularly Teutonic (although I guess "English with umlauts" counts as a Germanic language with umlauts. But you would not see words like Motörhead in German or Swedish or Icelandic or any other Germanic language that normally has umlauts I can think of. Although, I think we should use either a ä or æ in English if there's an orthographic reform, although I have a slight preference for the æ because that's more historical for English).
Where is the joke?
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Re: Jokes

Post by Khemehekis » 10 Nov 2015 01:04

HoskhMatriarch wrote: Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
[cɹyː], really? I would say [khɹy].
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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 10 Nov 2015 04:28

Khemehekis wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote: Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
[cɹyː], really? I would say [khɹy].
Oh yes, I mistyped...

Creyeditor wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Ahzoh wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote:Whenever I see heavy metal band names with umlauts, I say things like this:

Motörhead [motøɹhɛd]
Blue Öyster Cult [bluː øːʏstɚ kəlt]
Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)

If you make a heavy metal band, don't put umlauts in your name unless you want people like me to say your band name with front rounded vowels. Also, it just looks silly, no matter how much Fraktur you dress it up in.
Firstly, it is because it gives a Teutonic feel and clearly you aren't supposed to pronounce it like German, so of course you can have an umlaut and an ue.
But it doesn't give it a "Teutonic feel" to me, it looks silly to me, which is why I like to mispronounce metal umlaut band names, because it sounds as silly as it looks. Finnish and Turkish and lots of other languages also have umlauts, so unless your name actually looks like a Germanic language with umlauts, it's not particularly Teutonic (although I guess "English with umlauts" counts as a Germanic language with umlauts. But you would not see words like Motörhead in German or Swedish or Icelandic or any other Germanic language that normally has umlauts I can think of. Although, I think we should use either a ä or æ in English if there's an orthographic reform, although I have a slight preference for the æ because that's more historical for English).
Where is the joke?
The joke is supposed to be that it's funny to mispronounce metal band names. I guess it's not as funny in typing as in real life.
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Creyeditor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor » 10 Nov 2015 12:06

I guess it's not funny for Germans
Spoiler:
[:D] [:D] [:D]
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Adarain
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Re: Jokes

Post by Adarain » 10 Nov 2015 19:08

HoskhMatriarch wrote: Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
But... but what about /ʏə/ (contrasting with both <ue> /ʊə/ and <ü> /y/)? It may not be a thing in Standard German, but it was in Middle High German and still is in Swiss German...
At kveldi skal dag lęyfa,
Konu es bręnnd es,
Mæki es ręyndr es,
Męy es gefin es,
Ís es yfir kømr,
Ǫl es drukkit es.

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Re: Jokes

Post by HoskhMatriarch » 10 Nov 2015 19:14

Creyeditor wrote:I guess it's not funny for Germans
Spoiler:
[:D] [:D] [:D]
Really, no German anywhere likes pronouncing things wrong for comedic effect? I can't believe that, even if you don't like it. I also shouldn't've posted in the first place, because typing about saying things wrong isn't really the same as actually saying them wrong. Nobody seemed to find my typing funny, not just you or Germans, and that makes total sense, because it's really not the same thing.
Adarain wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote: Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
But... but what about /ʏə/ (contrasting with both <ue> /ʊə/ and <ü> /y/)? It may not be a thing in Standard German, but it was in Middle High German and still is in Swiss German...
I'd like to see some examples of that. Not that I doubt it exists, I just want to see some words.
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druneragarsh
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Re: Jokes

Post by druneragarsh » 10 Nov 2015 19:27

HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Adarain wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote: Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
But... but what about /ʏə/ (contrasting with both <ue> /ʊə/ and <ü> /y/)? It may not be a thing in Standard German, but it was in Middle High German and still is in Swiss German...
I'd like to see some examples of that. Not that I doubt it exists, I just want to see some words.
I believe it was Adarain's suggestion on the pronunciation of "Mötley Crüe". [møːtli kɹʏə] ?
My personal pronunciation: ['møt.lei 'kry:.e]
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Adarain
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Re: Jokes

Post by Adarain » 10 Nov 2015 19:40

HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Creyeditor wrote:I guess it's not funny for Germans
Spoiler:
[:D] [:D] [:D]
Really, no German anywhere likes pronouncing things wrong for comedic effect? I can't believe that, even if you don't like it. I also shouldn't've posted in the first place, because typing about saying things wrong isn't really the same as actually saying them wrong. Nobody seemed to find my typing funny, not just you or Germans, and that makes total sense, because it's really not the same thing.
Adarain wrote:
HoskhMatriarch wrote: Mötley Crüe [møːtli cɹyː] (also, why do you have an umlaut and an ue, they're the same thing, you can't have both)
But... but what about /ʏə/ (contrasting with both <ue> /ʊə/ and <ü> /y/)? It may not be a thing in Standard German, but it was in Middle High German and still is in Swiss German...
I'd like to see some examples of that. Not that I doubt it exists, I just want to see some words.
Sure. Because my dialect opened those schwas to [ɐ] (uncommon), I tend to write the opening diphthongs as <ua üa ia> instead of the much more common <ue üe ie>. These all merged with the long high vowels in Standard German.

Dia Feria tüan oi guat. (Die Ferie tüen eu guet) bleh feels wrong writing like this
[tɪɐ ferɪɐ tːʏɐn ɔɪ kʊɐt]
These vacations are good for you.

Öppadia muass ma dia Ur ufzücha. (Öppedie muess me die Ur ufzüche) just kill me, please
[œpːɐtɪɐ mʊɐsː ma tɪɐ ur uft͡sʏχɐ]
Sometimes, one has to wind up this clock.
At kveldi skal dag lęyfa,
Konu es bręnnd es,
Mæki es ręyndr es,
Męy es gefin es,
Ís es yfir kømr,
Ǫl es drukkit es.

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Creyeditor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor » 10 Nov 2015 21:24

HoskhMatriarch wrote:
Creyeditor wrote:I guess it's not funny for Germans
Spoiler:
[:D] [:D] [:D]
Really, no German anywhere likes pronouncing things wrong for comedic effect? I can't believe that, even if you don't like it. I also shouldn't've posted in the first place, because typing about saying things wrong isn't really the same as actually saying them wrong. Nobody seemed to find my typing funny, not just you or Germans, and that makes total sense, because it's really not the same thing.
Well we're all pronouncing it like that [;)]
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