Jokes

Discussions regarding actual culture and history of Earth.
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Adarain
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Re: Jokes

Post by Adarain » 08 Aug 2017 12:04

Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
At kveldi skal dag lęyfa,
Konu es bręnnd es,
Mæki es ręyndr es,
Męy es gefin es,
Ís es yfir kømr,
Ǫl es drukkit es.

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qwed117
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Re: Jokes

Post by qwed117 » 08 Aug 2017 19:29

Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?
Spoiler:
My minicity is Zyphrazia and Novland
What is made of man will crumble away.

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All4Ɇn
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Re: Jokes

Post by All4Ɇn » 08 Aug 2017 19:54

Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Wow Tom looked really different back then

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Adarain
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Re: Jokes

Post by Adarain » 08 Aug 2017 23:09

qwed117 wrote:
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?
Yes it does but then the :yout: isn’t a link anymore; either way the interesting bit was that the preview showed it as working.
At kveldi skal dag lęyfa,
Konu es bręnnd es,
Mæki es ręyndr es,
Męy es gefin es,
Ís es yfir kømr,
Ǫl es drukkit es.

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qwed117
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Re: Jokes

Post by qwed117 » 09 Aug 2017 01:58

Adarain wrote:
qwed117 wrote:
Adarain wrote:
Egerius wrote: ba-dum-tsss...
:yout: Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff

Really? That emoticon showed properly in the preview…
Does this work better?
Yes it does but then the :yout: isn’t a link anymore; either way the interesting bit was that the preview showed it as working.
Let's see if this works?
[I used a narrow non-breaking space. followed by a space]
Spoiler:
My minicity is Zyphrazia and Novland
What is made of man will crumble away.

Khemehekis
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Re: Jokes

Post by Khemehekis » 19 Aug 2017 07:21

Yo momma so dumb, I said, "These are knotty issues", and she thought I had subscribed to Playboy.
♂♥♂♀

Squirrels chase koi . . . chase squirrels

My Kankonian-English dictionary: 57,500 words and counting

31,416: The number of the conlanging beast!

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » 06 Sep 2017 16:40

How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!

And here's my sorry attempt at a French pun:

Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !


Translation:

How do you convince someone that blood isn't red?

You make white blood!


"On fait sang blanc" (You make white blood) is pronounced the same as "On fait semblant" (You pretend).

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GrandPiano
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Re: Jokes

Post by GrandPiano » 07 Sep 2017 02:47

Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
:eng: - Native
:chn: - B2
:esp: - A2
:jpn: - A2

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loglorn
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Re: Jokes

Post by loglorn » 07 Sep 2017 05:42

GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.
Diachronic Conlanging is the path to happiness, given time. [;)]

Gigxkpoyan Languages: CHÍFJAEŚÍ RETLA TLAPTHUV DÄLDLEN CJUŚËKNJU ṢATT

Other langs: Søsøzatli Kamëzet

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Lao Kou
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Re: Jokes

Post by Lao Kou » 07 Sep 2017 14:09

loglorn wrote:
GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.
That was my initial reaction, too. But then I thought the beef might be that in the English-speaking world, the growing trend is to use BCE (before the common era) and CE (common era) instead of the religiously charged BC/AD (and "BCE-ing you" doesn't work). Maybe :wat:. Whatever the accuracy concerns may be, I still found the joke moderately amusing. [:)]

Dormouse559 wrote:Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !
Not bad. [:)]
道可道,非常道
名可名,非常名

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » 07 Sep 2017 15:16

Hmm, well, I'd want more explanation on how BCE vs. BC is an accuracy issue, being they refer to the same dates. And some people do still use AD/BC; maybe our time machine inventor is a bit behind the times (pun intended).

If what troubles is the exact number of years needed to escape the anni Domini, you can substitute "more than 2,000 years" for "[current year number] + 1 years". It just seemed like more math than necessary.
Lao Kou wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:Comment convainc-t-on quelqu'un que le sang n'est pas rouge ?

On fait sang blanc !
Not bad. [:)]
Youpi ! [:D]

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GrandPiano
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Re: Jokes

Post by GrandPiano » 08 Sep 2017 22:26

loglorn wrote:
GrandPiano wrote:
Dormouse559 wrote:How did the scientist who invented the time machine say goodbye to someone before sending them more than 2,000 years into the past?

BC-ing you!
I don't think that joke is accurate anymore...
Emphasis mine.
Ah, don't know how I missed that. My bad.
:eng: - Native
:chn: - B2
:esp: - A2
:jpn: - A2

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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » 07 Nov 2017 02:47

Bad joke time and based on a real story:
I am a smoker. I live right by the beach, and there was a lifeguard-less public beach, that was basically a tanning/fishing spot near me, and I would go there to smoke, as I enjoyed the combo of tobacco-smoke and sea air. I would go there at night, not knowing that it was illegal to be there after dusk, as there was no sign. Once, a group of policemen came on the beach at night, and one of them asked me what I was doing, as I hadn't lit up yet. "Smoking" I said. "Pot?" the police said (I question the officer's intelligence, because if someone was smoking an illegal substance, they would have to be high already to even say "Smoking" to a Policeman.) I replied "Tobacco", and after telling me that going to the beach at night was illegal, he let me off with a warning. But I guess he suspected me of smoking......
.....Sea-Weed.
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » 21 Nov 2017 18:48

large-ish image:
Spoiler:
Image
Transcript:

Bartender: Which beer would you like?
Man: IPA, please
Bartender: wɪtʃ bɪə wʊd juː lʌɪk?


I definitely transcribed that IPA in X-SAMPA and then converted it back to IPA. [xP]

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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » 22 Nov 2017 01:46

X-SAMPA is not a kind of beer I've ever heard of [;)] [xD]
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 » 11 Dec 2017 07:43

I hear about people marrying their cars or themselves, but why does no one ever marry a melon?

Because you cantaloupe!

Birdlang
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Re: Jokes

Post by Birdlang » 07 Apr 2018 21:28

What group did the mad scientist send to do experiments on the kittens?

The Advo-cats of Satan!
Ꭓꭓ Ʝʝ Ɬɬ Ɦɦ Ɡɡ Ɥɥ Ɫɫ Ɽɽ Ɑɑ Ɱɱ Ɐɐ Ɒɒ Ɓɓ Ɔɔ Ɖɖ Ɗɗ Əə Ɛɛ Ɠɠ Ɣɣ Ɯɯ Ɲɲ Ɵɵ Ʀʀ Ʃʃ Ʈʈ Ʊʊ Ʋʋ Ʒʒ Ꞵꞵ Ʉʉ Ʌʌ Ŋŋ Ɂɂ Ɪɪ Ææ Øø Ð𠌜 Ɜɜ Ǝɘ

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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » 04 May 2018 05:12

How do physicists greet people today, (May the fourth)?
May the mass * acceleration be with you!
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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Scytheria
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Re: Jokes

Post by Scytheria » 12 May 2018 15:25

I'm guessing that the following will cause a few scratched heads. You'll either get it, get it but not find it funny, or not have a clue what's going on... I think being silly and British helps. It's currently my favourite ever joke precisely because people's reactions are so varied.

Q - What do you call a dinosaur with no legs?
A - A fsh.


I should add, this is the exact opposite of what the thread is about, being completely Anglo-based. But contrast, you know.
I went for a ride on a spaceship [O.O]

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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov » 17 May 2018 05:19

Conlangers were discussing the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis; Clueless Paramount Execs, hearing the second name, took them to court for "stealing Klingon".
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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